New York City is Giving Away FREE MONEY

New York City is giving away FREE MONEY! Follow these easy-to-do steps to qualify:

1. Go to New York City.
2. Take pictures of subway trains until you are approached by a police officer.
3. Refuse to show the police your pictures or delete them.
4. Get arrested.
5. Be beaten and raped (broom handle optional).*
6. Call the American Civil Liberties Union.
7. Profit!

* - Sorry, offer only available to non-whites.