Shorter Comments Section

Shorter Comments Section: Apple is Evil! Micro$oft is Evil! iPads suck! No they don’t! Microsoft did it first! Stick that stylus where the sun don’t shine! Hey look a Linux guy hiding behind the drapes, lets beat him up, too!

Meanwhile, half a continent away, Bill Gates withholds the retrovirus treatment that could cure Steve Jobs’ cancer, thus forcing Jobs to consume ever greater numbers of kidnapped Tonganese babies.